“A death game where the reward isn’t power or money — it’s health insurance.”
Hell’s bells, I never expected A.R. Witham to give Dungeon Crawler Carl a run for its money with Don’t Die Dave, but here we are. The whole thing feels like if you took that chaotic, burn-down-the-system LitRPG energy and somehow fused it with the old man humour and 80s-soaked vibes of Kings of the Wyld, which sounds like it should be a mess but instead it’s just a ridiculously fun and weirdly addictive wild ride.
First things first, get the audiobook. I am not asking, I am telling you. This is one of those stories that needs to be experienced with your ears, because Witham’s narration and the entire immersive production are just ridiculously good. Like, I don’t hand out comparisons to Jeff Hays and Soundbooth Theater lightly, but this really reaches those same heights and makes you forget you’re listening to one person and not a full cast of chaos gremlins screaming in your ears, and I love that.
Okay, so, let’s talk about our very unusual and atypical protagonist, Dave. He is a bald, broke, and deeply sarcastic 50-year-old dying of colon cancer, and he’s already very much done with life even before he gets uploaded into a pay-to-win death game where the grand prize is… health insurance. Not power, not glory, just the ability to not die in real life, which is honestly the most dystopian thing in this entire book, and that’s saying quite a lot considering people are literally dying for the entertainment of teenagers.
Now, there is simply no denying that the Dungeon Crawler Carl comparisons are strong and inevitable. We’ve got the absurd action, the brutal death game, the weird AI shenanigans, the crude humour, and the absolute ‘what the hell is happening?’ energy, and yet Don’t Die Dave never felt like a familiar, predictable copycat to me. Like, Dave’s not Carl, his companion Pepper the Penguin is not Princess Donut (and she’s cute but let’s be real, no one can ever live up to our favourite diva cat), and it’s all just got this unique Witham flair that made it feel completely different to me.
Where Don’t Die Dave did really remind me of DCC, though, is in how it managed to keep me so utterly engaged even while I did not give a single flying fuck about all the action and grander plot. I am just here for the characters and the fun dynamics, and that is exactly where Witham shines. The relationships that develop are messy and weird and somehow really heartfelt, and I loved watching these completely unexpected friendships form in the middle of all this chaos.
And that level of heart and hidden depth also really helped keep me grounded even when the logic was not fully logicking or when my brain got a bit too exhausted from all the hectic energy. Under all the ridiculousness, there’s some very pointed social commentary about the healthcare system, about mortality and morality, and about having to be entertaining enough to deserve to live, and I love how Witham balanced that bleakness with the humour so that all the emotional gutpunches just sneak up on you and hurt all the better.
So yeah, it might have almost lost me a few times along the way, but I somehow could not stop listening and by the end I was very much rooting for Dave to, you know, not die. Don’t Die Dave has a fun-factor that is just absolutely through the roof, and you better bet I will be back for more because now I am emotionally attached to a dying 50-year-old man and his cutie patootie baby penguin, and I honestly love that for me.
Thank you to A.R. Witham for providing me with the ALC in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own. Don’t Die Dave is scheduled for release on April 21st, 2026.
