“Pain is a god the body worships.”
Sometimes you love a book so much that reviewing it becomes a lesson in intimidation. Coup de Grâce is one of those books for me.
Not for the faint of heart, CdG is a literary horror novella (whatever “literary” is, and we can debate that forever) that deals intimately and unrelentingly with suicidal ideation, suicidality, and depression. It’s also a book that will please fans of the Weird who prefer ambiguity to easy answers, and who find horror at its sharpest when it remains at least somewhat undefined and threatening.
CdG‘s protagonist and narrator, Vicken, is a young Montrealer set on ending his life in the Saint Laurent river. O
n the way there (via Montreal’s metro system) Vicken meets another young man–Felix–with whom he feels a mutual attraction. Although the moment gives Vicken pause and revives a sense of the possibility life might still hold, he ultimately decides to continue with his plan.
Things go wonky, however, when Vicken finds himself unable to leave the metro system’s labyrinthine network of tunnels, staircases, and dépanneurs (1). Trapped in a seemingly endless repetition of Escheresque, Piranesian hallways (the cover should give you some idea) and cavernous, brutalist tunnels, Vicken is accompanied only by a fellow captive called Pashmina and an opaque and amorphous series of monsters that melt into and out of the walls.
As far as a hook, it’s a great one, but CdG is a lot more than the latest in a long line of gimmicky horror about Important Themes (TM). Part of what makes CdG stand out is its complete and utter commitment to character. While the premise drew me in, it was Vicken’s acerbic, unrelenting, and deflecting voice that held my attention and had me desperate (and desperately hopeful) to discover his fate. I imagine for some readers, these same qualities might make Vicken’s voice a hard one to attach to. There’s no prettying up of depression or suicidality between CdG‘s pages. And yet, the honesty of that voice, and of Ajram’s portrayal of the often circular thinking–that self-entrapment that depression so often entails and is governed by, cast Vicken as someone I needed to be okay, who I felt for on an intimate level, and who I couldn’t help but develop a sense of kinship with.
“Trauma does not always carry big battle wounds. Sometimes it appears in the broad daylight of cold wars fought in silence.”
There’s a playfulness and humour to Ajram’s prose, despite (or because of) the dark subject matter. My copy is festooned with long yellow post-its marking particularly beautiful, heartrending, or funny lines. Vicken will shift, sometimes, between meandering, lyrical turns of phrase and a coldly blunt directness, and it’s a testament to Ajram’s skill that it works so well and feels so authentic. As the novella progresses, the strong prose is combined with structural experimentation when they introduce both “choose your own adventure” and Creepypasta elements. In the hands of someone less skilled, this might come off as disjointed and abrupt, but instead feels entirely in keeping with Vicken and Ajram’s voices, adding a well-timed punchiness to the story. Part of the joy, if it can be called that, of CdG is undeniably Ajram’s exquisite writing. Lush without being overwritten, poetic without pretension, and sharply funny without being dismissive of its themes or subject, CdG is the perfect balance for me in terms of being both a deep character study and horror novel truly invested in the horrors it depicts.
In that way (among others), CdG is reminiscent of Susanna Clarke’s masterpiece, Piranesi. While Piranesi takes as its subject the dehumanizing experience of abuse and the fragmentation of the self that can happen when one is being manipulated by an abuser, CdG deals instead with the ways in which depression becomes a trap (or, if you will, a series of endless Montreal metro tunnels) that’s impossible to ever truly escape from. As Vicken and Pashmina struggle to find an exit, both they and the reader are confronted by the ways in which depression can often subsume one’s personality, one’s sense of self, and one’s ability to dream of a future. A bleak premise, to be sure, but one that’s approached both with care and a sense of authenticity. There isn’t a moment when Vicken’s inner conflict feels forced, trite, or overdone. Both works, also, are notably quite short. One of my larger complaints to do with these kinds of character studies in horror fiction, is that often the premise can’t sustain the length of a full novel, with the result that a work can feel bloated and repetitive. CdG (and Piranesi) avoid this pothole. While Vicken’s thoughts can, as I suggested, be cyclical, the text itself never feels redundant or unintentional, the story perfectly suited to the format in which Ajram chose to write it.
It becomes increasingly rare for me that I read something I immediately know I’ll revisit, but CdG is one of those books. With a protagonist so real you’ll feel him in your bones, and prose that deftly walks the tightrope of being lyrical without tumbling into messiness, CdG is one I’d recommend to horror fans, fans of literary fiction and poetry, as well as Weird fiction readers. To anyone suffering from depression or suicidal ideation who feels up to reading a work centered on these experiences, CdG may reward you with its depth, frankness, and empathy. I’d also recommend it to anyone who loved Piranesi, fans of Ottessa Moshfegh, and (at risk of being self-aggrandizing) anyone who connected with the protagonist in The Erstwhile Tyler Kyle (my own horror novel). I have a feeling you’re likely to feel a kinship with Vicken as well.
While I don’t make “best of” lists, I can wholeheartedly recommend Coup de Grâce as one of the best books I read in 2024. I can’t wait to see what Sofia Ajram has in store for us next!
(1) A convenience store in French Canada, particularly Quebec.
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Sofia Ajram is a queer writer and metalsmith. They are also the designer of Sofia Zakia jewelry.
Sofia lives in Montreal with their cat Isa. Find them on all social media platforms @sofiaajram.
