What am I doing this week to amuse myself? Jam, pickles, and a cubic Crap-ton of apricots

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This is my first installment of, “What am I doing this week to amuse myself?” Or as I like to call it, WAIDTWTAM. It’s a working title. Don’t judge.

The last few weeks I have been learning all I can about the semi-forgotten art of canning. Living in the pacific northwest, I have access to a lot of beautiful produce both from my own garden and other peoples gardens as I walk down the street. I kid. I kid. We have lovely farmers markets full of tattooed twenty-somethings that know how to sell a gorgeous tomato. I found myself in a situation of having too much produce in the fridge and it spoiling. So, I set out to learn some preservation techniques which I have been practicing the last few weeks. First of all, I am killing it on the jam front. Jams are my jam. Also, because I can’t do a single thing simply I fancy them up. I have made a spiced strawberry jam, a jelly made of coffee, kiwi jalapeno, raspberry and cardamon, apple whiskey Jam, and peach and rum. It seems like a lot for a family that hardly ever eats jam. It is. Every time I see someone, or an unsuspecting family member walks into my home; I shove a spoon full of jam down their gullet. It is getting to the point that people see me waving a spoon in their direction and they run for the coat closet.

While at my local grocery/produce stand I came across a box of apricots for 3.99. A BOX. It is about 15 pounds of sweet little stonefruits that taste like a peach dipped in honey. They are perishable as hell. I think they were the last of the apricots of the season and they needed to get them out of the store to make room for berries of all sorts. I was like, “Yes gimme! Give me all of the stone fruits so I may look at them and scratch my head.” I have literally spent more accidentally on freeze-dried bull-shit (real poop coming from a bull) from Cards Against Humanity then I would pay for 15 pounds of fruit.

I searched the wonderful world of Pinterest and found all of the recipes for apricots.

Here is the one I chose: (found at Canadian Crafter)

The recipe calls for:

3 Cups Sugar

1 Bottle of the cheapest Neutral Spirit

Apricots

I fancied it up with cinnamon sticks and I used brown sugar instead of white to give it a richer flavor.

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I started with a ton of apricots of various dented-ness.  Not great for eating, but who needs to eat when you are making schnaps.

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Add the most horrible vodka you own. “Tastes like poetry,” Tastes like hobo ass.

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Add brown sugar, stir into a slurry.

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Put apricots into jars with a single cinnamon stick.

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Pour slurry over apricots and cap. Sit on a shelf for a few months and let cure? or whatever. Let sit and get apricotty. I’ll check back when we open in three months and update. Happy drinking.

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