Don't F*ck With the Dog. It will Explode.
John Dies at the End
by David Wong
“Son, the greatest trick the Devil pulled was convincing the world there was only one of him.”―
David Wong, John Dies at the End
STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don’t put it down. It’s too late. They’re watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you’ll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it’s too late. You touched the book. You’re in the game. You’re under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me.
The important thing is this: The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do. I’m sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this was my fault.
John Dies at the End is not for everyone but it is certainly for me. It is a book of gonzo, weird and wild science fiction, comedy, and horror. It is smart, and rather wonderful.
I had read this years ago. I saw it sitting on a shelf, the cover looked so interesting. Plain as day, the title of the cover told us what was going to happen to John. Who was John? Even with all my reading, I rarely come across authors who dance upon the line of horror, comedy, and gonzo weirdness. But David Wong is able to walk this line and he might possibly do a silly walk or a dance upon it. This author gives no fucks.
When I do come across something that is different I get really excited. This is different. This is a cross between bizarro, science fiction, horror, and comedy. It has the best of each of these genres in a mish-mash snowball of glee. I am not even sure I can adequately describe the plot of the story. It is secondary to the dialog of the main characters. They are a pair of sarcastic semi-losers thrust into a surreal situation. It also involves parallel dimensions, hell, and an exploding dog.
They sorta just roll with every scenario they fall into.
The imagery is graphic and tinged with the gross,
“Fred said, “Man, I think he’s gonna make a fuckin’ suit of human skin, using the best parts from each of us.”
“Holy crap,” said John. “He’ll be gorgeous.”
Also includes a large use of the profane –
“No, no. Keep driving,” said a soft voice in my ear. “She will not bite if you keep driving.” Fuck that. Fuck that idea like the captain of the Thai Fuck Team fucking at the fucking Tour de Fuck.”
C’mon that’s funny. If you want to take on this book it will tickle all your 13 year old funny bones. I recommend pretty much anything that David has written, and especially this series. It gets weirder and funnier as you go.
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Where to find it?
I purchased a copy of this for my personal library.
Elizabeth Tabler runs Beforewegoblog and is constantly immersed in fantasy stories. She was at one time an architect but divides her time now between her family in Portland, Oregon, and as many book worlds as she can get her hands on. She is also a huge fan of Self Published fantasy and is on Team Qwillery as a judge for SPFBO5. You will find her with a coffee in one hand and her iPad in the other. Find her on: Goodreads / Instagram / Pinterest / Twitter