3 months!

Wow it has been three months since my last post.. slacker! Got out of the habit of writing, than didn’t feel like I had anything remotely interesting to write about. So what have I been up to? Well aside from running screaming from political posts on facebook, I have been making a busy book for my kid. “Why,” you ask?  I have no idea, aside from the fact that I like felt. Yay felt! A material that has really no other use than making crazy busy books that will entertain my kid for a few mins. Plus they have the added bonus of allowing me to exercise my incredibly geeky self.. hello Star Wars, Dr, Who, and Firefly pages. I might even throw in an incredible lieutenant Riker beard page. Seriously, have you seen that mans beard? It needs an instagram..


I kid, I kid, that’s Data.

 


He is looking majestically into the ether, as it looks back upon him and gives him a head nod for his amazing beard.

 

Anywho back to our regularly schedule blog post.

Here are some of the recent pages I have been creating. No theme really just seeing things on Pinterest I like and saying to myself, “Yo, I can do that.” Well not really with the “yo.” I’m not cool.


 

If there is any interest I’ll make How-tos and I will keep update on my progress on these. It is fun because I can let my inner geek out.

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The Mess and Fight Club

“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”
Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

You learn about yourself in every moment of the day. For good or bad we are always evolving. When you move from one place to another, you learn even more about yourself. When you move from one state to another, it is a true test of self. You have to touch and make judgement calls about every single item that you own. It is exhausting and adds stress already compounded on the big move. I hate moving. I mean true hate here…

In our American culture it is always, “more, more, more.” Buy this and you will fill the void that is a gaping maw in your life.  Eat this and you will feel good about yourself. It really is a bunch of bullshit. A bunch of bullshit that I was and still to some extant am still acceptable to. I admit it. I am of the Ohhhhhh shiny. When we moved to Portland from Las Vegas, we had so much crap that our three bedroom apartment looked like this. Every room, every space all the way up to the vaulted ceilings.

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I wished many times to just turn it all into a big bonfire

I ate cup o’ noodles for a long time because the apartment was wall to wall boxes, I could not cook. You cannot put stuff away when there are wall to wall boxes. You can just pull up a comfy box and sit and stare at another box.  I am not a hoarder, but I sure as hell looked like one.

 

 

“You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple years you’re satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you’ve got your sofa issue handled. Then the right set of dishes. Then the perfect bed. The drapes. The rug. Then you’re trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you.”                                                   Fight Club

Stuff controls everything. It is just stuff!  At that point I was too scared to get rid of much stuff. “What will happen if I don’t have this perfect little thing?”  This was a good wake up call, and living in this was even better. I now am almost phobic of clutter. Even though the house we currently live in now is still cluttered. It is much better, and a constant work in progress.

I set out to halve what I own each year. Take a close look at the items and figure out if they actually bring many any sort of joy or pleasure. If they do, I’ll keep. If they don’t they get passed on to goodwill. Additionally, I decided that I am done buying stuff retail and I will get much of what I need from second hand stores or the goodwill. It has been wonderful, if not a bit scary thing to confront and do. Wholly and completely liberating. I started with my clothes. I used to have two full closets of clothes, as well as many bunches gathering dust and insects in the garage. I went through, sorted and I now have 1/2 a closet and a dresser. Seriously that’s it. I figure I need to only buy things that make me want to twirl from now on. That is few and far between.

I am a book hoarder. I love the written word, the smell and feel of a book. There is so much power contained inside something small. It is a heady thing to hold in your hand. Then again it might be a crap romance book so your results may vary. Generally, books I keep are amazing . I have way to many amazing things. They got to go. First rule, if it is a trade paperback I give it to the library. If it is something I want for my collection it needs to be honored and be in hardback. Second rule, I have a finite amount of space and my collection needs to fit inside that space. It also can’t look like crap and dishonor the books. (I know. Weird.. weird) I made a list for myself of my absolute hands down favorites, you can find this list here. 6 star books This list has some of the books I find irresistible. Lately it has been trying to find hardback Dresden Files at the goodwill. Basically treasure hunting! I am now down to one and a half bookcases. Still a half to much, but it is a work in progress.

Future plans wise, I am going to copy all our important paperwork that does not need to be an original copy and store in on Amazon. This goes the same with pictures. They are protected and I can print and keep them safe. That gets rid of a lot of space.

I consider this goal to be a work in progress, but the feeling I get when I get rid of stuff is pretty awesome. I am not a minimalist yet, but I can see the allure. I’ll let you know when someone calls me austere.  Teehee

 

The Life List

This will be a very “listy” post. For obvious reasons, see title.  I thought it would be a good idea to get some of my goals and stuff up and crossed off. I know, super long list and it is constantly getting updated. This is by no means all of them. But a good start and I plan on writing posts about them:

 

Personal Goals


 

  1. Become and ordained Minister.
  2. Solve a Rubicks cube
  3. Fall in love and get married
  4. Have a baby
    1. Subsequent baby calls me momma
  5. Create a Rube Goldberg Machine
  6. Find a conch shell. The Conch Catastrophy
  7. Walk a mile backwards
  8. get a tattoo
  9. Break a bone And This Little Piggy Went Directly Into a Baby Gate and Broke
  10. Create and set off a thermite explosion
  11. Open a champagne bottle with a saber.
  12. Get fired, especially (but not limited to) when you’re getting fired because you want to get fired.  (Should happen to everyone at least once)
  13. Own a flame thrower
  14. Dance with my dad at my wedding
  15. Learn to BBQ some “Slap yo mama” ribs
  16. Save a life
  17. Go whale watching (Again, Thank you Bruce and Melissa)
  18. Cook a book
  19. Be able to do the scorpion yoga pose
  20. Have a hero.
  21. Be a hero.
  22. Meet your hero.
  23. Go ghost hunting.
  24. Lose 130 pounds (wow seems like a lot! It is a freaking lot. Oh well)
  25. Become a published author
  26. Have my artwork displayed in a gallery (When I was 12, but still counts)
  27. Publish a children’s book
  28. Restore a classic car
  29. Restore an old house
  30. Hug a redwood  The Redwood Didn’t Hug Back..Jerkface
  31. Start a blog! (it can be found here :P)
  32. make a 16 hour full day playlist  (I am on Spotify if you want to find me)
  33. Read a book about every american president
  34. Swim / stand under a waterfall (one in Zion pushed me flat to the ground)
  35. Ride a harley
  36. Cruise in a ferrari
  37. swim with dolphins
  38. Become a vegetarian (for 6 months, but I did it)
  39. Taste the finest wine. (Sweet surrender – from Keyways Winery)
  40. read the top 100 books (List can be found here Modern Libraries Reader’s List)
  41. run a marathon
    1. 3.5r
    2. mini
    3. 1/2
    4. whole
  42. Have 100,000 in savings
  43. Have 10,000 in savings
  44. Have 1,000 in savings
  45. Have 10 bucks in savings
  46. Own a 1971 Mach 1 mustang (have only hugged one, and drooled from afar)
  47. Dye hair black and blue
  48. Dye hair red and black
  49. Read the Kama sutra
  50. Know the names of all the American presidents
  51. Memorize the rhyme of the ancient mariner
  52. Complete a triathlon
  53. Walk a labyrinth  
  54. Help Lisa Fly in a plane
  55. Roll around in 20’s like the 3rd rate rap star that I am
  56. Roll around in 50’s like the 2nd rate rap star that I am
  57. Roll around in 100’s like the 1st rate rap star that I am
  58. Change my own serpentine belt
  59. Change my own brakes
  60. Change my own oil
  61. Rotate my own tires
  62. Fly my car 30 feet
  63. make 1000 paper cranes
  64. Attend the Nebula Awards (Thank you Bruce and Melissa. You made one of my dreams come true)
  65. Meet Neil Gaiman (I hugged him)
  66. See a major league baseball game
  67. Participate in a food fight
  68. Read 1000 books
  69. Be photographed in the Iconic breakfast at Tiffany’s pose.
  70. Get a blue box from Tiffany’s.
  71. Go grape stomping
  72. Experience a white christmas
  73. Hug a pug (Lisa, I miss your pugs. Snort snort)
  74. Watch over 100 artists live in concert.
    1. Dave Mathews
    2. Dave Mathews and Tim Reynolds
    3. Elton John and the red piano
    4. Reba Mcentire
    5. Rodrigo y Gabriella
    6. Metallica
    7. Godsmack
    8. U2
    9. Black eyed peas
    10. Buckeye cherry
    11. Cypress Hill
    12. Kitty
    13. nonpoint
    14. Cherry Poppin Daddies
    15. Big bad voodoo Daddy
    16. Big bad voodoo Daddy
    17. New Kids on the Block
    18. The killers
    19. Phil Lesh and Trey Anastasio
    20. The Black Crowes
    21. Damien Marley
    22. Godsmack
    23. Deftones
    24. Homegrown
    25. Incubus
    26. Stone Temple Pilots
    27. The Keller Williams Incident featuring Keller Williams backed by The String Cheese Incident
    28. Big and Rich
  1. Watch a Cirque du Soleil show. (Seen a few, those crazy bastards)
  2. Kiss under mistletoe
  3. Experience zero gravity
  4. Go to a drive in move (many times as a kid)
  5. Test-drive a car you can’t really afford
  6. Try on jewelry you can’t afford. (Tried on a pinky ring that cost a half million dollars)

 

Continue reading “The Life List”

Expert? Me? Nahhh

“And watch out for Molly. See if she does anything unusual. There’s something I don’t trust about the way she exploded and then came back from the dead like that.”
David Wong, John Dies at the End

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Saga by Brian K. Vaughan & Fiona Staples

 

Alright, alright I might be a very slight expert in “science fiction and fantasy” novels. But saying I am an expert in something makes me sound pretentious as hell. So lets just say I have read a hell of a lot across all sub-genres of sci-fi and fantasy, I used to run my own book club, and I cried when I got to hug Neil Gaiman. Like literal tears. Take what you want from that and I won’t feel like a douche. With all the reading I have done in sci-fi/fantasy, I feel like maybe I have tapped the genre for awhile. I have wanted a new challenge.

Become an “expert” in graphic novels you say?! Challenge accepted my friend. Last year I set a goal for myself to read 50 graphic novels. What that actually means is that I read 50 and than the series following the first book. Turned out to be a whole lot of freaking books. There were really… really bad ones. Twilight.

 

Twilight_The_Graphic_Novel
Courtesy of Wikipedia

Why did I do that to myself?

And some exceptional, incredible, not enough epithets in the english language for how good these books are, ones. Saga, and Transmetropolitan I am looking at you. It is a crying shame how much maligned this genre is. Ohhhhhhh comic books… how deep. You can suck it.

So of course, because if you haven’t noticed my not so buried neurosis about lists, you are starting to now. I found a list and started working on it. I want to finish it this year. I’ll write some posts about my favorites and see if I can turn a few of you to the dark side of comics/graphic novels and become and semi-knowledgeable person in the process.

My list as well as my running tally on all books that I have read can be found here:

My Goodreads Awesomeness

Here is the particular list I have been following as a primer. Best Graphic Novels

  1. Watchman
  2. The Complete Maus
  3. V for Vendetta
  4. The Sandman – Vol. 1
  5. The Complete Persepolis
  6. Batman – The Dark Knight Returns
  7. Batman – The killing Joke.
  8. Blankets
  9. Y – The last man.
  10. Batman Year 1
  11. Fables – Legends in Exile.
  12. The Walking Dead – Vol. 1
  13. Scott Pilgrims Precious little life.
  14. Bone
  15. Fun Home – A family tragicomic
  16. Saga vol. 1
  17. Sin City Vol. 1
  18. Ghost World
  19. Batman the long Halloween
  20. Preacher – Vol. 1
  21. Death Note – Vol. 1
  22. Transmetropolitan – Vol. 1
  23. From Hell
  24. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Vol. 1
  25. Batman Arkham Asylum
  26. The Arrival
  27. Black Hole
  28. American Born Chinese
  29. Hellboy Vol. 1
  30. Asterios Polyp
  31. Akira Vol. 1
  32. Locke and Key, Vol 1.
  33. 300
  34. Jimmy Corrigan – Smartest kid on Earth
  35. Kingdom Come
  36. Superman: Red Son
  37. Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art
  38. Habibi
  39. Marvel 1602
  40. Daytripper
  41. Death the high cost of living
  42. Marvels
  43. Allstar Superman
  44. Saga of the Swamp Thing
  45. Pride of Baghdad
  46. Astonishing x-men Vol. 1
  47. Runaways Deluxe Vol. 1
  48. Asterix the Gaul
  49. Palestine
  50. The Umbrella Academy Vol. 1
  51. X-men The Dark Phoenix Saga
  52. Johnny the Homicidal Maniac
  53. Stardust: Being a Romance among Fairy
  54. Batman: Hush Vol. 1
  55. The Absolute Sandman Vol 1
  56. The Lone Wolf Club, Vol 1
  57. Chew Vol. 1 Update 2-23-16
  58. Buffy the long way home
  59. Stitches
  60. Epileptic
  61. Fullmetal Alchemist
  62. A contract with God
  63. The Crow
  64. Planetary Vol. 1
  65. We3
  66. Anya’s Ghost
  67. 100 Bullets
  68. Identity Crisis
  69. Pyongyang – A journey into North Korea
  70. Batman Dark Victory
  71. Persepolis vol 1 and 2
  72. The invention of Hugo Cabret
  73. Astro City, Vol. 1
  74. American Vampire, Vol. 1
  75. Shortcomings
  76. The Dark Tower, Vol. 1
  77. The Ghost in the Shell, Vol. 1
  78. The complete Essex county
  79. Promethea Vol. 1
  80. I kill Giants
  81. The Ultimates
  82. The Maxx, Vol. 1
  83. Goodbye, Chunky Rice
  84. Mouse Guard Fall, 1152
  85. Fire and Flight
  86. The Invisibles
  87. Ex Machina Vol. 1
  88. X-men days of future past
  89. Safe Area Gorazde
  90. DMZ, Vol. 1
  91. Squee’s Wonderful Big Giant Book of Unspeakable Horrors
  92. Embroideries
  93. Wolverine: Origin
  94. The Rabbi’s Cat
  95. Top 10, vol. 1
  96. Blacksad
  97. 30 days of night, Vol. 1
  98. Ronin
  99. Castle Waiting, Vol. 1
  100. One Hundred Demons

Whew big list, right? I think it is a good place to start. Honestly, I will be no kind of expert when done with it. But, I will have a greater understanding of the genre and can move forward from there. I also notice some Fabbbbbbulous books /series that unfortunately didn’t make the cut. Namely, The Boys by Garth Ennis.  Good Times to be had. If you have any books that you think might be interesting, I would love to hear about them. I am always on the lookout.

 

 

 

The Conch Catastrophe

I like children. No, no seriously, I swear I do. I spawned one myself we named “The Viking”. I feel like that when I have to qualify how much I like children, “The lady doth protest to much, methinks.” My problem with kids is that when they are from the ages of 12-17, they usually turn into monsters. It is just a bad age for most kids. Myself included. I was a hellion. For you old folks out there, I was a “ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” kind of hellion.

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courtesy of this website austinstudentfilm.com

Dear reader I could tell you stories, but my folks will probably read this.

Anyway, I digress. The reason I bring up the age range is because on a recent cruise vacation to Jamaica, Cozumel, and Grand Cayman, I had the good fortune of striking a few things off of my life list. Made me as giddy as a fat kid and cake. I should know because I am both, ahem, pudgy and I love cake. I got to swim with sharks (rays, but they are of the shark family. They are sharks. Yes they are. Shut up. I swam with sharks dammit), and go snorkeling in a coral reef. Both were amazing, but the later was incredible.

So here I am swimming along, happily, and blissfully. Snorkel in my mouth and go-pro upon my head. I am in the Grand Cayman islands and right now I am living the dream. I swim upon a conch shell that looks like it has been placed before me by the gods themselves. “Lee (my brother), Lee c’mere. A shell!! A shell!!!.” It came out as “blerg blerg” because I had the snorkel still in my mouth. But still..

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I am the one in the completely fabulous retro blue and white suit and A SHARK just lovingly rubbed itself against my leg like a puppy. Hence the expression. Please ignore the waterspot, I have weak photoshop kung-fu.

I look down in excited anticipation, about to dive into the murky depths when my shell that had been placed by the fucking gods is gone. It was put there for me, and it disappeared. The gods where taunting me. I spent the next twenty minutes swimming back and forth trying to find the shell. “It was right here!!!” Alas, our time is up. The gods of the sea have brought forth the bounty, and have ripped it from my bosom.  Sad, dejected, wondering what I had done wrong in this life, I got back up in the boat. And what do you know but a stupid 12 year brat is talking about the cool shell that he found. My shell… Is it wrong to throw children off boat? That kid waited till I turned around and swam under me. This is why some people should not breed. Just saying.

About a month later I was shopping at goodwill, unlike photoshop I have strong goodwill kung-fu, and found a perfect conch shell for 7 bucks. I bought that sucker and cradled it to my breast. I HAVE A CONCH SHELL BITCHES. I like to pretend that this conch shell was the one from Cayman islands and I booted that stupid 12 year old off the boat and took back my shell. A girl can dream can’t she.

Life list item achieved – Got myself a damn conch shell.

 

 

It’s a beautiful rainy morning..and it is time to try shit.

Since this is my first blog post, obligatory introductions are in order. My name is Elizabeth Tabler, you may call me Beth. I was brought forth into this world 35 years ago in the “not so big” town of Las Vegas, Nevada. I am married to a wonderful man named Mark, and I have a little girl. Lets call her, “The Viking.” Because damn if thats not the appropriate description for her.

I named this blog, “before we go,” because one of my greatest joys in life is trying shit. Whether it is Civet “poop flavored” coffee, some weird food, or some odd experience, It’s my jam. This all started when I was about 11 years old and wrote my first to do list. I actually have this list framed and hanging on the wall in my living room. Lists are my neurosis… I have 9k pins on Pinterest and find the most unusual stuff to try. If you would like to see some of my past projects, check out my Project Completed  folder.

Also, I will be tracking my life list (which is a full on book) and my yearly list.

  • Make amazing mac and cheese
  • Get all the Dr. Seuss books for the viking. Who am I kidding. Dr. Seuss is badass and it really is for me.
  • Read 100 books
  • Finish the 100 greatest graphic novel list found Here
  • Get all the Robert Sabuda Books. I have a thing for pop up books
  • Get all the Dresden File books. Because c’mon. Amazeballs.
  • Keep a strict keto diet for a month My god keto is amazing.. well BACON
  • Lose 80 pounds
  • Own a conch shell.
  • Own a little mermaid snow globe. Don’t ask, I just really want one.
  • Practice German for another year. ja ich spreche Deutsch ein bisschen. Schau mich gehen.
  • Practice guitar every day for a month.
  • Find a dooney and burke princess bag at goodwill. It will happen!

Along with these I’ll write up little things on whatever I am up to. It should be highly entertaining for me and my family who will read the blog. Tschuss.