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What am I doing this week to amuse myself? Jam, pickles, and a cubic Crap-ton of apricots

By June 28, 20182 Comments


This is my first installment of, “What am I doing this week to amuse myself?” Or as I like to call it, WAIDTWTAM. It’s a working title. Don’t judge.

The last few weeks I have been learning all I can about the semi-forgotten art of canning. Living in the pacific northwest, I have access to a lot of beautiful produce both from my own garden and other peoples gardens as I walk down the street. I kid. I kid. We have lovely farmers markets full of tattooed twenty-somethings that know how to sell a gorgeous tomato. I found myself in a situation of having too much produce in the fridge and it spoiling. So, I set out to learn some preservation techniques which I have been practicing the last few weeks. First of all, I am killing it on the jam front. Jams are my jam. Also, because I can’t do a single thing simply I fancy them up. I have made a spiced strawberry jam, a jelly made of coffee, kiwi jalapeno, raspberry and cardamon, apple whiskey Jam, and peach and rum. It seems like a lot for a family that hardly ever eats jam. It is. Every time I see someone, or an unsuspecting family member walks into my home; I shove a spoon full of jam down their gullet. It is getting to the point that people see me waving a spoon in their direction and they run for the coat closet.

While at my local grocery/produce stand I came across a box of apricots for 3.99. A BOX. It is about 15 pounds of sweet little stonefruits that taste like a peach dipped in honey. They are perishable as hell. I think they were the last of the apricots of the season and they needed to get them out of the store to make room for berries of all sorts. I was like, “Yes gimme! Give me all of the stone fruits so I may look at them and scratch my head.” I have literally spent more accidentally on freeze-dried bull-shit (real poop coming from a bull) from Cards Against Humanity then I would pay for 15 pounds of fruit.

I searched the wonderful world of Pinterest and found all of the recipes for apricots.

Here is the one I chose: (found at Canadian Crafter)

The recipe calls for:

3 Cups Sugar

1 Bottle of the cheapest Neutral Spirit


I fancied it up with cinnamon sticks and I used brown sugar instead of white to give it a richer flavor.


I started with a ton of apricots of various dented-ness.  Not great for eating, but who needs to eat when you are making schnaps.


Add the most horrible vodka you own. “Tastes like poetry,” Tastes like hobo ass.


Add brown sugar, stir into a slurry.


Put apricots into jars with a single cinnamon stick.


Pour slurry over apricots and cap. Sit on a shelf for a few months and let cure? or whatever. Let sit and get apricotty. I’ll check back when we open in three months and update. Happy drinking.


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